Hey there...

Yeah, so I'm going to try and follow-up on the Family Radio thing either Monday or Tuesday. Unlike evangelical fascist nutjob self-centered all-knowing ignorant brain-dead useful-only-as-unlicensed-solicitors bible-thumping carnies, I HAVE A JOB and it is taking up about all of my time right now.

Just in case, though, I'm drinking a lot of slurpees and keeping the a/c down really low: Hell is hot and forever is a long time.

"Are you Christian?..." Part One

So I'm outside having a smoke during work Saturday and a small Asian woman walks up to me and asks "Are you Christian?".

Anyone who's had this experience before knows what's coming next. For one, I'm sitting on a wall with my feet on the bench under me in the middle of the afternoon having a cig, chances are that no, I'm not Christian. I guess this makes me a 'potential save-ee'.

I politely but firmly reply that no, I am not a Christian. She asks me if I listen to Christian Radio--specifically pointing out 107.9 FM from a list that, judging by the fluency with which it was written, was given to her as a sort of fundamentalist 'Talking Points' memo. Well, not being a Christian, no I don't listen to Christian Radio. I listen to godless heathen music or sports-talk or really it's none of your business.

Actually I just say no I listen to music thank you as she continues to blabber on about how nice the radio station is and salvation and all that as I continue to just say "Stop"and "No". She says ok but she's going to pray for me. Well, on some humanistic Thinking of Others level I can appreciate that and I say so.

I guess since we've shared this moment of polite disagreement and recognition of other ideas, she has to turn around and ruin it by pointing out that smoking is a sin (? News to me...) and the long-term harmful sexual side-effects of it. Wow. That's exactly where she went.

I am proud to say I didn't fully lose my temper ( what is it with the little Asian women anyway?) but that was the point at which I did say something about that being quite enough, that I simply stepped outside while working--which is something you're not doing today I should point out--to catch a few minutes of not busting my ass in a vain attempt to get by in this horrible world, and I appreciate not being bothered by idiot fascist fundamentaldefectives who, unless they can provide some proof that they in fact OWN the bench I'm resting on, have no right to say dick to me beyond a polite "Hello" and "How are you?". I mean really, even panhandlers have a reason to be outside accosting people. Christ.

So basically the conversation ends with me telling her to piss off and her warbling on about salvation and some such bullshit. I go back inside pissed off from my break and go about my business. At some point I look up our WFSI 107.9 FM, based out of Annapolis, which is part of the Family Radio network. Family Radio. God, I don't even want to get started on the whole 'Family' thing. Such fucking buzzword and shield-to-hide-behind bullshit.

Here is some interesting info on Family Radio, it's founder and supporters. Yes, this is what I do when I'm not selling beer and wine to people. I'm almost sorry she took off so soon; when I told my co-worker The Cajun what had happened he was heading outside to cuss her out. But that never gets us anywhere does it? They can go back to their ignorant fearful 'congregation' (if you read the Wiki article you'll get what I mean by that) and talk about turning the other cheek and the yelling barbaric heathens they ran into today. I saw no point in that. I was strong with her, but only after she trashed our peaceful resolution. I saw it in her eyes; she knew we at least had a decent ending and she fucked it up. She gave me reason to tee off on her. Oh well.

Tomorrow, Part Two: I call Family Stations Inc. (corporate name of Family Radio) to do some harassing and 'saving' of my own.

Until then.....

I Want You To Want (To Pay) Me

For all the Cheap Trick fans out there.

So yeah, a few months back I left a job and was out and about having some difficulty finding a new one. I interviewed with one local store (that I would very much like to work for) but the owner didn't have a space for me. He said he'd have something for me in the near future, which I appreciated but that didn't really help me in the moment. I lucked into my current job at a different store (same business, one I was in for almost 3 years) and have become loved and well-regarded by our suppliers and clientèle, if not well-paid. Figures that 3 years of experience at a store 1/10th the size with at least twice the business doesn't earn you decent pay. Gotta love retail.

Anyway, things are going well and for all my bitching I'm making enough money to get by and I haven't been able to say that for a while. People I work with are getting to know and understand my level of experience and knowledge. I have a couple dozen customers that come into my department who know my name and I have no friggin' clue who they are. I have a little space in the world that I directly affect, and I have to say it's very enjoyable.

About a week ago I got an e-mail from the owner of Store X, where I had interviewed before. Basically it says 'Might have something for you, come by'. Immediately I start to think about pay raises and where I'd rather be. My thinking led me to the position that unless X offered me a stupid amount of money to come over, I'd rather stay where I am where there's a pretty good chance I'll be taking over another department when someone leaves (which would be sometime later this year most likely). I was resolved to take less money for the opportunity. Fair enough, right? Good plan.

You know what they say about plans....

I met with the owner of Store X Friday, and he laid out a scenario that sounded an awful lot like all the reasons I wanted to stay at my current job. This was unexpected, but got me (quietly) excited. THIS was a whole new opportunity. All that was missing was the offer, for which I would have to wait over another weekend.

Talked again today. X can't bring me over yet, but I'm first in line. Current store rumors are that I'm due for a raise (no shit) and I think I may take the chance to try and push it farther than it might naturally go. I'm in a position here where I can laugh in the face of my upcoming, substantial pay hike and tell them not to insult me. I've never been big on negotiation as far as why I should have something, get a job instead of someone else, etc. But if I work for you it's pretty simple--fuck you, pay me.

Gergle mentioned last week how nice it must be for me now when I was having so much trouble finding work just a few months ago. And yeah, it's pretty nice. The problem is that now I'm in job limbo. Also, if/when I do jump it kinda fucks with my resume a little, being at one job for such a short time before taking another. I know it would make me come off as kinda mercenary, but hell, in the business I'm in why shouldn't I be? If any of you out there work retail for a living, and I don't mean somewhere part time, I mean real retail, you know how hard it is to get paid reasonably for doing what is the most difficult and essential job in the 'food chain'. I'm at the point where I look in my wallet and my account after I get a paycheck and I know it's time to make a money grab. I'm going for it. One way or another, I'll be making some kind of money soon.

Here's to hoping for the best...

DC101 R.I.P.

Maybe I am becoming an old man already (I do have the grays for it), but Gergle's little rant got me pretty fired up.

At work we have DC101 on all day, and its a pretty sad excuse for a rock station these days. We count how many times we hear 'The Black Parade' every day, and I'm about to start counting that horrid Three Days Grace song (you know, about how he's an animal and out of control 'cause he's so baaaad), American Idol failure Daughtry and fucking goddamn Papa Roach. At least Hinder seems to be out of rotation. This is without even mentioning Fall Out Boy, Panic at the Disco and the like, which is a whole other rant (then again, it might not be--I just started typing).

Now, I mention Papa Roach with a special fervor. I do this not only because they suck but because they suck in such a specific way. It just seems like they wait a year or two, see what's big and then cut a record that sounds like everything else out there. Remember 'Last Resort'? When they came out they were all not quite rap-rock, with that douche singer doing all that crap 'spoken word' type shit? Trying to be all deep and dark talking about cutting himself. Like he ever fucking was a cutter. I knew cutters. I dated a cutter (who had stopped by that time thankfully), and I found the whole thing just unseemly, as if you could just tell he was trying to sell them something rather than help. I mean, tell someone its going to be better someday. Give us a solution for god's sake. What does he offer as a solution? Oh yeah, suicide. Thanks, dick.

And 'Broken Home'? About, well, you guess....yeah. At least the guitar part (and most of what the band was doing) in that song was kinda interesting. If you don't remember the lyrics, here's a sample:

Broken home/All alone
Broken home/All alone

Jesus...put a hair's worth of effort into it, man. So anyway, there they were in the middle of the shift that saw kids go from Korn to POD to Linkin Park and the rise of...god help me...emocorepowerpunkpopshit. Fast foward seven years (and two or three completely ignored records) annnnnnnnddd they're back. New song, new look. Really, check it out:

Papa Roach ca. 2000

Check 'em out now:

Nice. YouTube! Cuz allth3 kidz r on th youtub3! Rawk! Whatever, can't blame them for adapting to a new environment...but its just so blatant with them. Now singerdouche's new problems aren't cutting or his 'rents, it's relationships and being unable to get deep with groupies he's banging on the road. Really, check it out, from the shit masterpiece 'Forever':

In the brightest hour of my darkest day
I realized what is wrong with me
Can’t get over you can’t get through to you
It’s been a helter-skelter romance from the start
Take these memories that are haunting me
Of a paper man cut into shreds by his own pair of scissors
He’ll never forgive her he’ll never forgive her

Because days come and go but my feelings for you are forever
Because days come and go but my feelings for you are forever

Sitting by a fire on a lonely night
Hanging over from another good time
With another girl little dirty girl
You should listen to this story of her life
You’re my heroin in this moment I’m lonely fulfilling my darkest dreams
All these drugs all these women
I’m never forgiven this broken heart of mine

One last kiss before I go
Dry your tears it is time to let you go
One last kiss before I go
Dry your tears it is time to let you go

Ferlinghetti it ain't. But that's not the point. Dude breaks up with a girl, can't get over it and rather than deal with it fucks groupies (who, by the way, he couldn't have any less respect for as women) while thinking about how fucked up they are and they should listen to him like he's some kind of fucking yogi or something, all the while he's still obsessing over the one girl. What. The. Fuck. Ever. You suck. Tuck them in the file with Nickleback and Hinder and Daughtry and all that shit. Fuck 'em.

But that's what you get on the radio today. That's what rock music is now. You're either some poseur rock star or a fucking eyeliner wearing fop like Pete Wentz or the douche-chill inspiring My Chemical Romance. It's like an eight-hour clusterfuck listening to this shit all day. I've actually removed DC101 from my truck presets. I couldn't take it anymore. I want to rock. I don't want to hear kids whining. I especially don't want to hear dickheads talk shit about girls they're fucking on the road when they should be laughing it up, enjoying the opportunity that most of us never get and thanking god for young, impressionable women. And they should be saving their money, 'cause a lot of us have iPods, and satellite radios, and mammoth cd collections...

We're not abandoning radio; radio abandoned us. I'm gonna go listen to some Tool.

Ok, Ok, I'm Here....

Yes folks, I'm here. I am alive and well (relatively speaking), I do exist, and I am going to be writing more often again. With the moving thing and the adjusting-to-the-new-job thing, I don't know...honestly, I didn't really have much of a care as to whether or not I wrote anything or if anyone read it. I'm still not sure if I do, but I feel some kind of responsibility to the blog, so there you go.

New post later. I'm trying to figure out how to write it and not sound like a bitter has-been-that-never-was or an old man.

Late.

The Bergle Meets The Hammer

Ok,

So I'm at work yesterday minding my own business and getting ready for the busy weekend ahead. It was me, the Boss and The Cajun. The Boss is often running around trying to keep things in line, and The Cajun and I handle different departments but spend a fair amount of time hanging out during the day. One of our part-timers had come by to say hey and hang out and they were doing just that while I was rapping with a couple of customers who were in my 'house' so to speak.

The door opens and out of the corner of my eye I catch a look and say to myself "Gee, self, that guy looks an awful lot like--Wait--it IS Tom Delay!" Now it's a good day at work. I look over as Delay walks through the aisles and the Boss turns to me mouthing "THAT'S TOM DELAY". She's shocked. She never worked at the place in McLean where I grew up running into all kinds of folks. Anyway, we all look at each other as if to silently decide who's going over there. I bow out early, fearing the loss of my job after getting into a shouting match with a former majority leader. The Cajun--I don't think he can really be bothered. Nothing political there. The Boss seemed to want to handle it, so she got to help him out. He wasn't in long, but a couple of thing struck me while he was with us:

1--The smile. You know the one. The one from the mugshot? Hold on, hold on, here you go:


Yeah, that smile. He has that all the time. It's scary. It's like he walks around all the time thinking about how happy he is to be Tom Delay. I hate that. It's such a conservative thing, too. I see others doing it (as I said, I'm from McLean) and they do it as if they're thinking "I'm so happy god gave me this beautiful world and this white skin and all this money because he loves me soooooooo much". Ugh. Makes me sick.

Sorry, I went away for a second there. Where was I?....Oh, yeah:

2--He's short. My god, that shocked me. He can't be more than 5'7", right? All you Hill staffers out there help me out on this one. He's like Keifer Sutherland short. He's The Ball-Peen Hammer, maybe an Everyday Hammer at most, but THE HAMMER? Hardly. Unless Hastert used to actually pick him up and swing him like a hammer. You never know.

3--Slight bald spot in the back. I'm willing to accept the hair color though. There's enough gray in there that the rest seems appropriate. The spot ain't that bad, really. I mean, the man appears to be keeping himself in good shape. And at least he has his hair. I mean, how many men his age lose it all? He's got a little trouble spot but overall the hair was ready for TV and you have to respect that. That and now having all the time in the world to hit the gym since you got run out of your job for being a corrupt petty little megalomaniac. I'm just saying.

That's my story kids. Gotta go get ready for work. Have good weekends and remember to think of your friends who work retail, because for us there is no weekend. Late.

A Case of the Mondays...

Ok,

I'm liking the whole 'I'll throw some vids up' thing for Mondays, so here goes:

-You know you're in Nashville when the whole audience is versed enough in guitar to applaud at all the difficult parts. Ladies and Gentlemen, the incomparable Chet Atkins.

-And another for the pickers out there. Note how perfect that slapback echo is. Sickness.

-God I love the 'net. I was looking for old WB cartoons. Here's someone's editing class homework. One of the best Looney Tunes shorts set to Radiohead.

-New Bionic Woman? From the guy who made Battlestar Galactica cool again. I'm thinking about it, but still not sure. Preview sure is cool, though.

-This weeks athlete worship: Barry Sanders. The flat-out greatest running back I'll ever see. He wasn't a threat in the short passing game (though he could have been), he wasn't specialized as an interior or exterior runner, he just found gaps and juked heads out of their shoes at an astounding rate. The most fun you could have watching football was watching Barry Sanders take it up the middle. Oh, and the old-school L.L. Cool J track is unbelievable with some of the names he drops.


Have a good week kids!

7-11 Update!

Hey all,

Just got off the phone with the local supervisor who oversees the store in question. He told me there is a new manager in place who is looking for ways to improve the store and according to him there has already been some 'turnover'. We talked for a few minutes about what happened; I let him know where the real concern of mine was as opposed to where I was just venting, and he addressed the issue of the so-called "time limit" and how it could've been handled reasonably by the staff on hand.

I will be receiving a gift card in the mail, the amount of which will more than compensate me for the time and trouble. They even made sure the gas I never received wasn't charged to my account. Thanks to Mr. 7-11 for taking the time and following up with me even after I found myself too busy to get back to him quickly.

The card is being sent to me tomorrow. Guess where I'm gonna cash it in?