We've all seen them: Someone is involved in an inexplicable situation where they need car insurance immediately. They seem to be the same person every time, which raises questions about the man's driving ability. A dynamic, pink-haired woman comes out of nowhere to save the day by covering the man's ineptitude for less than other companies would.
They've met more than a dozen times, but seem to only rarely converse outside of discussing insurance needs.
They exist through different eras, yet all the while require car insurance.
Questions arise: Do they really know each other or not? When did they really first meet? How old is Erin Esurance (I swear to god that's her name)? What is her mission, really? And where does Crappy Driver Guy (here to be referred to as CDG) fit in?
These are not easy questions to answer. The truth could be more frightening than anything we could have ever imagined. I will attempt to establish a timeline and motivations for all parties involved, and I believe what you'll read here will shock you.
Part 1--When We First Met.
The first ad. It seems so innocent and meaningless now. A special agent of sorts is being pursued by three opponents, crashes a car dealership and procures a getaway car all the while extolling the virtues of online car insurance. We presume that this is the first meeting of Erin and CDG.
Perhaps we presume too much?
The facts are this: Observe how casual CDG is with Erin throughout. If a pink haired chick crashed through the ceiling of your work and demanded service you'd be a little taken back, wouldn't you? I would. It's almost as if he's been through this before. Almost as if he's expecting just this situation. Hmmm. Also, what happens after she bolts with the car? There are three dangerous people left alone with a civilian. By all logic this guy is as good as dead. But no, he lives on.
While I'm thinking about it, way to totally check out Erin's ass, CDG. Smooth. She totally felt him doing that.
So what can we can gather from this? Erin is an experienced and trained agent of whatever it is that she does. I'll tell you this: My mom is an insurance agent. My mom does not have skills like that. Erin Esurance is NOT an insurance agent. Not even a special insurance agent.
CDG and Erin are acquainted in some way. So when do they first meet? With all of the adventures Erin and CDG have had together (hmmm) what is continuity to them? What is their timeline? Let's take a little look.
The first ad we just saw seems to be the most contemporary. The only other ad that comes closer actually establishes her as having been interviewed by Space Ghost. Space Ghost Coast-To-Coast ran from 1994 to 2004, so this could be fairly recent. Now check the ad out.
Unbelievable. The woman just outed herself! Not only is the Esurance deal a cover (so that ISNT her real name!), but the Top Secret Special Investigations Unit? Wow! That must've pissed her bosses off something fierce. If I was running the show and my best agent went public like that, I don't know what I'd do. Maybe I'd just make them disappear. Maybe I'd bring them in and keep them to train new agents.
Maybe I'd use her to experiment with time travel technology in an effort to alter history to ensure the success and wealth of my dummy insurance corporation (dum Dum DUMMMMMMMMM).
And Esurance isn't the only company with these ideas. Check this out. Erin is used to hunt down and eliminate other insurance companies before they can establish dominance. And who's there to pick her up when the job is done in mid-nineteenth century America? On a motorcycle, no less? Our guy CDG.
Part 2: Who IS Erin Esurance, and How Did She Come to Be?
Maybe she was just another runaway, lost, on the streets. Looking for direction. Maybe she was an upstart special forces servicewoman who got noticed by the right people. Whatever the case, Erin was thrust into a world of orders and missions and danger and insurance.
Where does a young woman learn to move and battle various robots the way she does? Apparently, starting at some point in the 70's (note the old-school ABC style yellow sportsjacket, reminiscent of the late Howard Cosell of Monday Night Football), the TSSIU started her training by forcing her to compete, on her own, in various team sports against large combat trained robots.
This would serve to put Erin in her 30's at least, but consider this: If TSSIU is sending her around in time, it's possible that her training could have been accomplished in a matter of days. That a younger Erin could have gone through 'years' of training and then come back mere seconds later, then sent to the future seconds after that. CDG's calm in the face of danger, his poise and apparent ability all point to being a classic black-ops man. Bouncing through time himself, he could be as old as 60-65 but having 'cut through' most of the past 3-4 decades, could appear to be in his 30's himself.
Also, looking at those commercials, do you notice a pattern here? I don't have video of the 'Basketball' ad, but that is another 70's era example of Erin playing one-on-whatever against killer robots. Every time, CDG is in a different role; play-by-play man, quarterback, coach. But how different of a role is he really playing?
CDG isn't just some dick walking around crashing cars and being clueless about comparing auto coverage...
...he trained Erin for the TSSIU. He's her mentor. Her handler. Her partner.
Her partner? Yes; her partner in the field, and maybe more...
Part 3: The Truth.
The truth is out there. Actually, it's right here. THIS is them in action in their real lives, their TSSIU work. Eliminating world threats and promoting the dummy insurance company all at the same time. His name is Eric! Wow! I wonder what happened to agents Edward, Emily, Eamonn, Elise, and Eldrich. So close in the field, so adept and efficient, I'm sure their bosses are happy. But what about them?
Is their a chance that either of them could live outside of this world in a normal way and be happy? Having gone through everything together, could they just go home, take a shower and call it a day, living a suburban existence like any other young couple? I think so. In fact, I know so.
Shocking, no? Blatantly living out in the open, battling foes in the kitchen with little disregard for neighborhood noise restrictions (or prying eyes, for that matter). Yet she obviously keeps her life a secret from her mom on the phone. Looking back, it could explain the surfing commercial (look at how coy they are with each other) and the skiing incident.
They were on vacation. Huh.
Well, to wrap things up, the life of a secret agent is perilous at best and deadly at worst. For anyone to come through such a career and be able to enjoy their lives says something about that person. To share that life with someone else says something about them as well. From public gaffes to saving the world to making sure her man is covered after his latest fender bender, Erin has had a lot on her plate in her life. Here's to those crazy kids. Good for them.
The only danger is Esurance itself. It has an agenda and dangerous, highly-trained killers at its disposal. The real threat isn't a girl with pink hair, it's here.
Good night, and good luck.
Showing posts with label Crap TV. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Crap TV. Show all posts
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Oscars!!!...No, not really.
Hey,
Was going to do the Oscar recap this year but:
1. I just woke up from falling asleep during the show.
2. Didn't have enough alcohol to get into the right mindset for note-taking, etc.
Really, that show just sucked. So long, so boring, so what. I've got batter fish to fry. I'm job hunting, trying to get back into the habit of working out again, looking for musicians to start a group with and yesterday my truck gets rejected for inspection. So here I am with a loaner Ford Fusion (not a bad car by the way, not awesome but a step up for the boring everyday car) waiting for the call to come get my truck and typing to kill time.
Drives well, but I want to fall asleep looking at it....
Do you ever catch yourself daydreaming? I do. Often. I think that's how I spent most of high school, actually. These days, though, I find myself lost in thoughts like "What do I want my next car to be?" or the big one lately "What (insert item of guitar gear) do I need?". Then you have the two halves of your brain yelling at each other like the girls on America's Next Top Model (yes, the Gergle is making me watch this drivel again, but the good news is we already have nude pics of one of them--and it's one of the ones I like!) with the one side dreaming and the other horribly grounded in reality. I have family, and they're wonderful, but it seems like no one wants to even pretend to help out. My mom offers to pay for school (or a personal trainer since I'm working out again) but if I ask for help getting a new guitar (which I kinda do need) or related stuff it just hits a wall.
Now, my mom is amazing and has always been there for me and I know she always will be there. It just strikes me how anyone with ambitions 'outside' of what people normally do get put through the ringer. I mean, I'm looking for a job. This job, whatever it is, will take a ton of time away from me that I could be spending playing, getting better, and getting recognized. But if I got that job, I'd get that help that I actually need now. I'm really trying to keep this out of ranty, whiny territory, but it just seems like if you don't want to be an accountant or work for some government contractor or something you have to become that in spite of those around you. Even in spite of those who love you and say they'll always be there for you.
I don't know, just some stuff I've been thinking about.
Was going to do the Oscar recap this year but:
1. I just woke up from falling asleep during the show.
2. Didn't have enough alcohol to get into the right mindset for note-taking, etc.
Really, that show just sucked. So long, so boring, so what. I've got batter fish to fry. I'm job hunting, trying to get back into the habit of working out again, looking for musicians to start a group with and yesterday my truck gets rejected for inspection. So here I am with a loaner Ford Fusion (not a bad car by the way, not awesome but a step up for the boring everyday car) waiting for the call to come get my truck and typing to kill time.
Drives well, but I want to fall asleep looking at it....Do you ever catch yourself daydreaming? I do. Often. I think that's how I spent most of high school, actually. These days, though, I find myself lost in thoughts like "What do I want my next car to be?" or the big one lately "What (insert item of guitar gear) do I need?". Then you have the two halves of your brain yelling at each other like the girls on America's Next Top Model (yes, the Gergle is making me watch this drivel again, but the good news is we already have nude pics of one of them--and it's one of the ones I like!) with the one side dreaming and the other horribly grounded in reality. I have family, and they're wonderful, but it seems like no one wants to even pretend to help out. My mom offers to pay for school (or a personal trainer since I'm working out again) but if I ask for help getting a new guitar (which I kinda do need) or related stuff it just hits a wall.
Now, my mom is amazing and has always been there for me and I know she always will be there. It just strikes me how anyone with ambitions 'outside' of what people normally do get put through the ringer. I mean, I'm looking for a job. This job, whatever it is, will take a ton of time away from me that I could be spending playing, getting better, and getting recognized. But if I got that job, I'd get that help that I actually need now. I'm really trying to keep this out of ranty, whiny territory, but it just seems like if you don't want to be an accountant or work for some government contractor or something you have to become that in spite of those around you. Even in spite of those who love you and say they'll always be there for you.
I don't know, just some stuff I've been thinking about.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Who do I Have to Fuck....?
Maybe soon to become a regular feature here at The Point. I'm giving it a go and we'll see what happens....
Who do I have to fuck....
-To get a decent glass of beer around here? I know where, I'm just asking for one that doesn't make my wallet vomit in its mouth (which is a little too close to my ass for my comfort).
-To find a job listing that actually explains what the job is? I may have applied for a cabinet-level position this week and not known it. Then again, I may have applied to be the 'mop guy' at a friggin' peep show place. That's my point: I can't tell.
-To find a guitar that's half good, not custom, not tricked out at all, for under $1500? Just one.
-To shorten commercial breaks on terrestrial radio? If provided a name, this is the one I'd most likely be willing to go through with. More on this in the next week or so, as I'm a pretty heavy radiophile. Thank god I have Sirius/XM/whatever-the-hell-it-is this week.
-To snap MSNBC out of its Anna Nicole obsession? They're making all non-right-wingers look bad with this crap. Jesus, you're just giving them a gun and asking "Please Sir, please shoot me?".
-To get Van Halen to go on tour anyway? God, I was so ready for this. The kid in the band? Dave with his shot voice trying to sing Fair Warning stuff? This was gonna be a clusterfuck of epic proportions. You owe us Eddie. You owe us at least that much.
-To make the NBA interesting again? I grew up with the greatest talent pool ever playing their asses off making it happen every night. Now I can barely sit through a quarter of a Mavs/Suns game, and I like both of those teams. A lot. It's like when after Tyson lost the title and every champ after did his best to simply not lose the belt. Man, I have a whole thing under the surface with the NBA that I didn't know was there, but that will be coming out soon. Oh yes, it will.
-To find a bottle of Cherry Smash? If you remember what that is, congrats--you're not only old, you're half a hick. Take a number, I'm still waiting.
-To kill half the shows on Adult Swim? I'm looking at you, 12oz Mouse, Tom Goes to the Mayor, Awesome show, Bleach, Trinity Blood and Squidbillies (so close). It should be the big shows (Family Guy and Futurama), Aqua Teen, Robot Chicken, Moral Orel, Venture Bros., Space Ghost (make new ones, rerun old ones, I don't really give much of a shit), Brak, and Frisky Dingo (with some Sealab reruns thrown in). And Aqua Teen, come here: You're pushing it. You know I love you most of all, but you're really pushing it. I don't know if it's the movie distracting you or what, but you need to get it in gear. Ok, sport? Ok. I love you.
-To make sure I never see Fitness Personality John Basedow on my TV ever again?
-To put Tyra Banks and Rachel Ray on the same one hour talk show? I mean, let's just condense the crap if we're not going to get rid of it.
-To outlaw quarter-taking community washer and dryer rooms from apartment buildings? We're already paying rent; now we get to pay for crappy appliances that don't work as often as they do and when they are are being completely occupied by the same family's 12 loads of laundry? Fuck off.
Ok, this is long enough, I think. I gotta save up that anger, you know. I think we'll be seeing this again. I find it cathartic. Of course, if you have your own, add them as comments or e-mail me and I'll include them in a future 'Who do I Have to Fuck...?'
Email bergle79@gmail.com
Who do I have to fuck....
-To get a decent glass of beer around here? I know where, I'm just asking for one that doesn't make my wallet vomit in its mouth (which is a little too close to my ass for my comfort).
-To find a job listing that actually explains what the job is? I may have applied for a cabinet-level position this week and not known it. Then again, I may have applied to be the 'mop guy' at a friggin' peep show place. That's my point: I can't tell.
-To find a guitar that's half good, not custom, not tricked out at all, for under $1500? Just one.
-To shorten commercial breaks on terrestrial radio? If provided a name, this is the one I'd most likely be willing to go through with. More on this in the next week or so, as I'm a pretty heavy radiophile. Thank god I have Sirius/XM/whatever-the-hell-it-is this week.
-To snap MSNBC out of its Anna Nicole obsession? They're making all non-right-wingers look bad with this crap. Jesus, you're just giving them a gun and asking "Please Sir, please shoot me?".
-To get Van Halen to go on tour anyway? God, I was so ready for this. The kid in the band? Dave with his shot voice trying to sing Fair Warning stuff? This was gonna be a clusterfuck of epic proportions. You owe us Eddie. You owe us at least that much.
-To make the NBA interesting again? I grew up with the greatest talent pool ever playing their asses off making it happen every night. Now I can barely sit through a quarter of a Mavs/Suns game, and I like both of those teams. A lot. It's like when after Tyson lost the title and every champ after did his best to simply not lose the belt. Man, I have a whole thing under the surface with the NBA that I didn't know was there, but that will be coming out soon. Oh yes, it will.
-To find a bottle of Cherry Smash? If you remember what that is, congrats--you're not only old, you're half a hick. Take a number, I'm still waiting.
-To kill half the shows on Adult Swim? I'm looking at you, 12oz Mouse, Tom Goes to the Mayor, Awesome show, Bleach, Trinity Blood and Squidbillies (so close). It should be the big shows (Family Guy and Futurama), Aqua Teen, Robot Chicken, Moral Orel, Venture Bros., Space Ghost (make new ones, rerun old ones, I don't really give much of a shit), Brak, and Frisky Dingo (with some Sealab reruns thrown in). And Aqua Teen, come here: You're pushing it. You know I love you most of all, but you're really pushing it. I don't know if it's the movie distracting you or what, but you need to get it in gear. Ok, sport? Ok. I love you.
-To make sure I never see Fitness Personality John Basedow on my TV ever again?
-To put Tyra Banks and Rachel Ray on the same one hour talk show? I mean, let's just condense the crap if we're not going to get rid of it.
-To outlaw quarter-taking community washer and dryer rooms from apartment buildings? We're already paying rent; now we get to pay for crappy appliances that don't work as often as they do and when they are are being completely occupied by the same family's 12 loads of laundry? Fuck off.
Ok, this is long enough, I think. I gotta save up that anger, you know. I think we'll be seeing this again. I find it cathartic. Of course, if you have your own, add them as comments or e-mail me and I'll include them in a future 'Who do I Have to Fuck...?'
Email bergle79@gmail.com
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Peering Up From the Handbasket
Hey there,
I was all ready to go fire and brimstone today watching the coverage of the Anna Nicole/Britney madness. Hours of newstime used up by pics of a bald nutjob and a clusterfuck hearing that supposedly was to determine custody of another nutjob's body? I was thinking about the Post's Walter Reed story this weekend, about all the injured and those who are being injured and killed every moment while we try to turn our heads and look at the shiny things...
...but then something hit me.
The name of the judge at the Anna Nicole hearing rung a bell...I thought maybe he was Judge Judy's husband. For reals. Alas, it turned out not to be the case, just a coincidence where their names are similar. BUT, it also turns out that he wants his own TV show!!!
I'm going to say something here that I'm not proud of and I wish I wasn't able to say: This guy is gold. I was sucked into the proceedings and could not look away despite myself, and he had a lot to do with that. God help me, I want this war to end, I want all of our brothers and sisters to come home and I want the idiot appointed president gone tomorrow but for a good hour or so this afternoon I had me a fine distraction, and his name was Judge Larry Seidlin.
The dude was all over the place, from crushing the attorneys (calling one whom I assume was representing Anna's mom 'Texas' as if he didn't have a name) to telling them what questions to ask to ASKING THE QUESTIONS HIMSELF!!! Unbelievable!! Standouts for me were Judge Seidlin questioning Howard K. Stern presumably to show all these lawyers how its done, and the Moment of the Day: Taking a call while on the bench from the M.E., letting it out over the air and letting it go on for a good minute and a half before asking "Doc, should we take this off the air?"!!
Fantastic stuff, an immediate first-ballot entry for the Jagoff Hall of Fame. Oh my god, I'm just thinking about it and its still stunning. I think this guy topped everything that ever happened on L.A. Law, Perry Mason and The Practice in one afternoon--and I'm pretty sure there was a Practice episode where Cameron Mannheim ate a dude during cross-examination. The only courtroom film I can think of that still holds up is Witness for the Prosecution, and that merely squeaks by due to Marlene Dietrich's performance as The Accent That Walked Like a Woman.
I'm not sure where I was supposed to be going with all this, but I think it was this:
With the world as it is today, with all of the dangers and threats and stupidity (plus the stuff that happens outside the White House), where everything is serious (especially what you laugh at) and none of us have any future unless we have the right name or fuck the right person(s), where the possibility of waking up to major landmarks burning is too real and too probable, it's ok to find comfort and release in something stupid for a little while. So watch the hearing solely to gauge Howard K. Stern's creep factor. Photoshop Britney with different wigs (or a Smurf cap, I'm still waiting to see that), read some gossip. Just don't do it for long. We used to do it all the time, remember? Look what happened.
I was all ready to go fire and brimstone today watching the coverage of the Anna Nicole/Britney madness. Hours of newstime used up by pics of a bald nutjob and a clusterfuck hearing that supposedly was to determine custody of another nutjob's body? I was thinking about the Post's Walter Reed story this weekend, about all the injured and those who are being injured and killed every moment while we try to turn our heads and look at the shiny things...
...but then something hit me.
The name of the judge at the Anna Nicole hearing rung a bell...I thought maybe he was Judge Judy's husband. For reals. Alas, it turned out not to be the case, just a coincidence where their names are similar. BUT, it also turns out that he wants his own TV show!!!
I'm going to say something here that I'm not proud of and I wish I wasn't able to say: This guy is gold. I was sucked into the proceedings and could not look away despite myself, and he had a lot to do with that. God help me, I want this war to end, I want all of our brothers and sisters to come home and I want the idiot appointed president gone tomorrow but for a good hour or so this afternoon I had me a fine distraction, and his name was Judge Larry Seidlin.
The dude was all over the place, from crushing the attorneys (calling one whom I assume was representing Anna's mom 'Texas' as if he didn't have a name) to telling them what questions to ask to ASKING THE QUESTIONS HIMSELF!!! Unbelievable!! Standouts for me were Judge Seidlin questioning Howard K. Stern presumably to show all these lawyers how its done, and the Moment of the Day: Taking a call while on the bench from the M.E., letting it out over the air and letting it go on for a good minute and a half before asking "Doc, should we take this off the air?"!!
Fantastic stuff, an immediate first-ballot entry for the Jagoff Hall of Fame. Oh my god, I'm just thinking about it and its still stunning. I think this guy topped everything that ever happened on L.A. Law, Perry Mason and The Practice in one afternoon--and I'm pretty sure there was a Practice episode where Cameron Mannheim ate a dude during cross-examination. The only courtroom film I can think of that still holds up is Witness for the Prosecution, and that merely squeaks by due to Marlene Dietrich's performance as The Accent That Walked Like a Woman.
I'm not sure where I was supposed to be going with all this, but I think it was this:
With the world as it is today, with all of the dangers and threats and stupidity (plus the stuff that happens outside the White House), where everything is serious (especially what you laugh at) and none of us have any future unless we have the right name or fuck the right person(s), where the possibility of waking up to major landmarks burning is too real and too probable, it's ok to find comfort and release in something stupid for a little while. So watch the hearing solely to gauge Howard K. Stern's creep factor. Photoshop Britney with different wigs (or a Smurf cap, I'm still waiting to see that), read some gossip. Just don't do it for long. We used to do it all the time, remember? Look what happened.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Random Thoughts
Hey there,
Had about three things I wanted to write about and never got to so I'm going to just throw some stuff out there.
--I'm so going to the Police show. That made me so happy when I saw them playing together.
--Beauty and the Geek rules. I can't believe that I got sucked into watching crap like this but man does that show payoff. Nate essentially tanking his team because his partner is cunty is maybe the highlight of the television year. God I need to go out more so I don't find myself reduced to blogging about reality shows.
--I'm on a job hunt right now, and I have to say it's a frustrating thing. You find one job that you're not really into, but the pay seems to be good and the hours are livable. On the other hand, you find a job that you might actually enjoy but it means never seeing anyone you know ever again. And forget about any other interests you have. If I could combine the hours of one with the other I'd be pretty well off. Oh well.
I guess that's all I wanted to talk about. More later when I'm not so distracted.
Had about three things I wanted to write about and never got to so I'm going to just throw some stuff out there.
--I'm so going to the Police show. That made me so happy when I saw them playing together.
--Beauty and the Geek rules. I can't believe that I got sucked into watching crap like this but man does that show payoff. Nate essentially tanking his team because his partner is cunty is maybe the highlight of the television year. God I need to go out more so I don't find myself reduced to blogging about reality shows.
--I'm on a job hunt right now, and I have to say it's a frustrating thing. You find one job that you're not really into, but the pay seems to be good and the hours are livable. On the other hand, you find a job that you might actually enjoy but it means never seeing anyone you know ever again. And forget about any other interests you have. If I could combine the hours of one with the other I'd be pretty well off. Oh well.
I guess that's all I wanted to talk about. More later when I'm not so distracted.
Friday, February 3, 2006
Did Smallville Fuck Up?
Ok,
SO...last week they killed off Jonathan Kent on Smallville. I know, isn't watching Smallville a little gay? Well, yes it is but I'm a geek and as a geek I must watch so back the fuck up. The point is they were building this whole season up with the promise that someone would die: Early on this year Clark had 'given up his powers' to be human and bang super-hottie Lana Lang (fair trade, really--have you seen that girl?) and then 'died' after being shot leading to his REAL father Jor-El (don't get me started on Jor-El, really) giving the powers back and bringing him back from the dead but with the caveat that someone whom Clark loved would have to die to keep the balance of the universe or something. Personally I think Jor-El is just a prick, but I'm not getting started on him tonight.
Anyway, so it seemed all year it was going to be either Lana (who you know they can't kill off; I mean, she's the reason I ever spent more than two minutes with the show in the first place) or Clark's 'cape hag' friend Chloe, who is the only person who knows his secret and is all kindasorta crushing on him blah blah blah and seems doomed at some point in this series so why not? From a fanboy perspective it had to be Chloe; there never was a Chloe in the comics, Lana was the first person Clark ever revealed himself to, Lana is his rock in the comics, etc.
So lo and behold, last week's episode ends and bam, heart attack, Jonathan Kent is dead. I can't begin with the sadness and anger I had at the end of that episode. First off, Jon Kent was played by John Schneider, who was on the Dukes of Hazzard. You don't kill a Duke boy, period. Just isn't done. Any character he or Tom Wopat ever plays deserves to live.
But it wasn't the Dukes fan in me that was upset; it was the comic fan. The old school 'Whatever Happened to the Man of Tommorrow?' fan, the guy who put up with the 'Death of Superman' and the 'Reign of Supermen' and Mullet Superman and Superman Red/Blue...you name it. I hold a reverance for the character, and in doing so hold reverance for what makes him who he is. THE thing that makes him what he is, is his upbringing. His parents. The farming family salt-of-the-Earth pillars of strength and comfort that have always been Jonathan and Martha Kent. Part of what makes Superman do the great things he does is that he has this father who tells him 'good job son, I'm proud of you' or shows him a better way to connect with the humanity that under stress it must be easy to forget (Can you tell that I'm a Post-Crisis fan and not a Golden/Silver Age fan?). How can we have an 'I miss Daddy and now I'm angry at the world' Superman? Soap Opera bullshit!!
Hold on a minute.
You see, as a fanboy we often have to suffer with Hollywood's ideas of what and who our heros are (See Batsuit, nippled--filed under Schumacher, Joel). It almost seems like (using the example of Superman and Smallville) we EARN our enjoyment and love of the character through following these books, spending our money week after week digging into the past, the history of what makes him not just a comic hero, but a true character. Then some TV execs come along and throw some hack writers on the case and anyone who flips along all of a sudden feels like they know a thing or two about a thing or two. To us, it feels a little sick when ANY license is taken with the history or behavior of ANY character or event.
But, giving DC Comics and the WB a little credit, they've got some good people on Smallville. The Executive Producers seem to be true fans creating a new world that will bring new people into who and what Superman is about. One of the Associate Producers is a man named Jeph Loeb. Fanboys, you know who he is, but for everyone else out there, he's one of the top writers in the biz right now. He's taken the entire DC universe on and made it some it hasn't been for a looooong time--interesting. Not just interesting, fascinating.
Jeph Loeb is the shit. Bottom line. He also has recently lost his 17 year old son who was a talented aspiring artist and writer. Smallville is the world of these producers, and they can do with it what they see fit. That's how I 'let it go' after last week. But the more I think of it, I can't help but think Jeph had something to do with it. What father wouldn't trade his life in an instant to give his son the chance to grow and be something great? It seems to me a little bit like the whole plot line is related to that, and not only do I feel for Loeb and understand but I think as long as the lesson Clark learns is that Jon gave his life for him to help the world, it stands as the right thing to do on it's own merit.
Sorry for the rant, but as I thought of this it touched me and broke my heart at the same time. I can't imagine what Jeph Loeb has gone through, or Clark for that matter. But I hear what Loeb seems to be saying. And finally, I don't watch Smallville and think about what's 'wrong' with it. I just watch it.
Late,
Berg
SO...last week they killed off Jonathan Kent on Smallville. I know, isn't watching Smallville a little gay? Well, yes it is but I'm a geek and as a geek I must watch so back the fuck up. The point is they were building this whole season up with the promise that someone would die: Early on this year Clark had 'given up his powers' to be human and bang super-hottie Lana Lang (fair trade, really--have you seen that girl?) and then 'died' after being shot leading to his REAL father Jor-El (don't get me started on Jor-El, really) giving the powers back and bringing him back from the dead but with the caveat that someone whom Clark loved would have to die to keep the balance of the universe or something. Personally I think Jor-El is just a prick, but I'm not getting started on him tonight.
Anyway, so it seemed all year it was going to be either Lana (who you know they can't kill off; I mean, she's the reason I ever spent more than two minutes with the show in the first place) or Clark's 'cape hag' friend Chloe, who is the only person who knows his secret and is all kindasorta crushing on him blah blah blah and seems doomed at some point in this series so why not? From a fanboy perspective it had to be Chloe; there never was a Chloe in the comics, Lana was the first person Clark ever revealed himself to, Lana is his rock in the comics, etc.
So lo and behold, last week's episode ends and bam, heart attack, Jonathan Kent is dead. I can't begin with the sadness and anger I had at the end of that episode. First off, Jon Kent was played by John Schneider, who was on the Dukes of Hazzard. You don't kill a Duke boy, period. Just isn't done. Any character he or Tom Wopat ever plays deserves to live.
But it wasn't the Dukes fan in me that was upset; it was the comic fan. The old school 'Whatever Happened to the Man of Tommorrow?' fan, the guy who put up with the 'Death of Superman' and the 'Reign of Supermen' and Mullet Superman and Superman Red/Blue...you name it. I hold a reverance for the character, and in doing so hold reverance for what makes him who he is. THE thing that makes him what he is, is his upbringing. His parents. The farming family salt-of-the-Earth pillars of strength and comfort that have always been Jonathan and Martha Kent. Part of what makes Superman do the great things he does is that he has this father who tells him 'good job son, I'm proud of you' or shows him a better way to connect with the humanity that under stress it must be easy to forget (Can you tell that I'm a Post-Crisis fan and not a Golden/Silver Age fan?). How can we have an 'I miss Daddy and now I'm angry at the world' Superman? Soap Opera bullshit!!
Hold on a minute.
You see, as a fanboy we often have to suffer with Hollywood's ideas of what and who our heros are (See Batsuit, nippled--filed under Schumacher, Joel). It almost seems like (using the example of Superman and Smallville) we EARN our enjoyment and love of the character through following these books, spending our money week after week digging into the past, the history of what makes him not just a comic hero, but a true character. Then some TV execs come along and throw some hack writers on the case and anyone who flips along all of a sudden feels like they know a thing or two about a thing or two. To us, it feels a little sick when ANY license is taken with the history or behavior of ANY character or event.
But, giving DC Comics and the WB a little credit, they've got some good people on Smallville. The Executive Producers seem to be true fans creating a new world that will bring new people into who and what Superman is about. One of the Associate Producers is a man named Jeph Loeb. Fanboys, you know who he is, but for everyone else out there, he's one of the top writers in the biz right now. He's taken the entire DC universe on and made it some it hasn't been for a looooong time--interesting. Not just interesting, fascinating.
Jeph Loeb is the shit. Bottom line. He also has recently lost his 17 year old son who was a talented aspiring artist and writer. Smallville is the world of these producers, and they can do with it what they see fit. That's how I 'let it go' after last week. But the more I think of it, I can't help but think Jeph had something to do with it. What father wouldn't trade his life in an instant to give his son the chance to grow and be something great? It seems to me a little bit like the whole plot line is related to that, and not only do I feel for Loeb and understand but I think as long as the lesson Clark learns is that Jon gave his life for him to help the world, it stands as the right thing to do on it's own merit.
Sorry for the rant, but as I thought of this it touched me and broke my heart at the same time. I can't imagine what Jeph Loeb has gone through, or Clark for that matter. But I hear what Loeb seems to be saying. And finally, I don't watch Smallville and think about what's 'wrong' with it. I just watch it.
Late,
Berg
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