Opposite Day

I've been trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me today. I woke up at an unusual hour for me, went to a job interview that I was really excited about and left deflated and soured on another job that I almost took yesterday. More than that, everything feels wrong. Something wasn't just wrong with me; I wasn't thinking big enough.

Today is an opposite day. Everything that was good and right had been flipped on its head and was showing me its ugly, diseased ass (except, of course, for my girlfriend). Everything that was going my way had slammed on its brakes and decided to just go on home.

Unfortunately the thing that hasn't changed is DC driving habits and abilities. Word of advice: If you own a small two-door thing that couldn't drive through three inches of snow if your life depended on it please do not try to climb up an iced-over hill with it. Especially if I am sitting RIGHT BEHIND YOU. It's not worth it. There are other exits, downhill-facing ones even! Christ, I know that this area is full of people from all over the world, so whenever we get any kind of weather some percentage of the population has no idea what the hell to do. I get that. It's ok, even. But just a thimbleful of friggin common sense! Not much, just enough to not get me killed.

And I'm just so sick of everything today. I know I'm not the cheeriest bear in the cave but I usually have some perspective. Not today. Everything makes me want to throw my hands in the air and toss them about as if I had little to no regard for those around me. I checked my email for a message that should be there, and when it wasn't I kicked a Kermit the Frog doll that was on the floor. I love Kermit. Rainbow Connection and shit.

It seems like everywhere I turn there are problems; not all of them huge but all of them adding up--like drinking Tequila or Liquid Cocaine shooters. While I'm at it--I think any booze with the letter 'Q' in it should be approached with caution. Good life rule, that. Anyway, I see the laundry I don't have the money to do ($10 for a roll of quarters is a big deal right now), the streaks I can't get out of the coffee table, the jobs I can't get or shouldn't take, and it all snowballs until I'm thinking about what I want to do with my life. Then the TV starts with the "I'm going to lose all sound now for no reason" thing and I'm fixin to pop. If I have to go out again for any reason, god help us all.

I think I may need a vacation.