"Are you Christian?..." Part One

So I'm outside having a smoke during work Saturday and a small Asian woman walks up to me and asks "Are you Christian?".

Anyone who's had this experience before knows what's coming next. For one, I'm sitting on a wall with my feet on the bench under me in the middle of the afternoon having a cig, chances are that no, I'm not Christian. I guess this makes me a 'potential save-ee'.

I politely but firmly reply that no, I am not a Christian. She asks me if I listen to Christian Radio--specifically pointing out 107.9 FM from a list that, judging by the fluency with which it was written, was given to her as a sort of fundamentalist 'Talking Points' memo. Well, not being a Christian, no I don't listen to Christian Radio. I listen to godless heathen music or sports-talk or really it's none of your business.

Actually I just say no I listen to music thank you as she continues to blabber on about how nice the radio station is and salvation and all that as I continue to just say "Stop"and "No". She says ok but she's going to pray for me. Well, on some humanistic Thinking of Others level I can appreciate that and I say so.

I guess since we've shared this moment of polite disagreement and recognition of other ideas, she has to turn around and ruin it by pointing out that smoking is a sin (? News to me...) and the long-term harmful sexual side-effects of it. Wow. That's exactly where she went.

I am proud to say I didn't fully lose my temper ( what is it with the little Asian women anyway?) but that was the point at which I did say something about that being quite enough, that I simply stepped outside while working--which is something you're not doing today I should point out--to catch a few minutes of not busting my ass in a vain attempt to get by in this horrible world, and I appreciate not being bothered by idiot fascist fundamentaldefectives who, unless they can provide some proof that they in fact OWN the bench I'm resting on, have no right to say dick to me beyond a polite "Hello" and "How are you?". I mean really, even panhandlers have a reason to be outside accosting people. Christ.

So basically the conversation ends with me telling her to piss off and her warbling on about salvation and some such bullshit. I go back inside pissed off from my break and go about my business. At some point I look up our WFSI 107.9 FM, based out of Annapolis, which is part of the Family Radio network. Family Radio. God, I don't even want to get started on the whole 'Family' thing. Such fucking buzzword and shield-to-hide-behind bullshit.

Here is some interesting info on Family Radio, it's founder and supporters. Yes, this is what I do when I'm not selling beer and wine to people. I'm almost sorry she took off so soon; when I told my co-worker The Cajun what had happened he was heading outside to cuss her out. But that never gets us anywhere does it? They can go back to their ignorant fearful 'congregation' (if you read the Wiki article you'll get what I mean by that) and talk about turning the other cheek and the yelling barbaric heathens they ran into today. I saw no point in that. I was strong with her, but only after she trashed our peaceful resolution. I saw it in her eyes; she knew we at least had a decent ending and she fucked it up. She gave me reason to tee off on her. Oh well.

Tomorrow, Part Two: I call Family Stations Inc. (corporate name of Family Radio) to do some harassing and 'saving' of my own.

Until then.....